This is welcome news when a daughter is already married and her parents are waiting to become grandparents. On the other hand, it is not a catastrophe for some parents where the daughter is an adult who is already educated and working. They believe the unborn child’s father or some other man may marry her later. In the worst scenario, they believe she can care for the child without the child’s father.

Where the expectant grandparents are Christian or share a faith or customary belief which forbids pregnancy before marriage, a sense of failure in upbringing may come over them.

Where the daughter is a teenager, this is unpleasant and shocking news for both parents especially the mother. This daughter is most definitely in school. So thoughts arise about her education, her emotional and physical fitness to be a mother and whether the male involved is fit to be father to the child when it is born. Some parents will consider abortion to cut matters short and to hide what has happened!

Whatever the situation, sober and rational thinking are important here. The parents of the pregnant girl or young woman must give her unconditional love throughout the pregnancy and long after the baby is born. In fact this must be the situation as long as they all live. They must know their daughter is already in a fix and may be feeling guilty she has disappointed her parents and her God. These are what faith and experience teach us.

In my part of the world, it is important to first find out if the male involved accepts responsibility for the pregnancy. In many cases he voluntarily visits the girl’s parents with his family members to let them know he is the father of the child to be born. Occasionally he also makes clear his intention to marry the girl . Otherwise DNA testing for proof of paternity may be carried out later.

Then it is also vital the expectant mother receives the right prenatal and postnatal care. She must be encouraged to do this and maintain a positive attitude to her situation.

Where the new parents do not get married, it is unfair to the child and improper as well as dangerous for his upbringing if he is denied love and relationship with a father who is willing to be close with his offspring. Where he is unwilling, the laws of the country may be used to compel him to support his child. Occasionally a mother also leaves her child to its father to care for when he does not marry her. Such a child may not realize his full potential in life because of such situations.

It is unwise for parents to encourage their daughter to live with her child’s father in the hope that this will persuade him to consider marriage. Their daughter may blame them for life if marriage never happens!

It is ideal to witness marriage between a mature and adult daughter and her equally responsible and prepared gentleman before they have children. But where this does not happen, all is not lost. Who knows what unique gifts God has given this child to benefit the world!

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him ( Psalm 127:3 NLT).


Add yours

  1. Well written and I enjoyed this piece.
    Would you believe; I took a taxi in the afternoon, a few hours before you posted this and the taxi driver told me about how he and his girlfriend had a baby and her family made her leave the child with him.
    His mother helped him bring his daughter up and she is the apple of his eyes. 16yrs old now, brilliant at science, speaks fluent French.
    She wants to be a doctor.
    He is determined to provide her with everything, so that she will never be tempted to accept anything from anyone else with an ‘agenda’!
    I loved this article and it is such a coincidence that I met someone with a similar experience as part of your article spoke about.
    I await the next article most eagerly.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Praise God this child has turned out well! I pray for the Lord’s hand on her as she goes through life; that she will excel in everything the Lord leads her to do under His protection.
      Also I pray she will forgive her mom if she ever meets her.
      God bless this taxi driver who is doing so well for his daughter.


  2. When these things happen(Teenagers giving birth), most a times it is the innocent child that suffers, only a few children are really cared for.Look at our streets now, most children we see there are as a result of that. The youth of today are seriously messing up. This issue needs to be confronted.
    Thank you grandma for the piece


    1. It is most important teenagers are taught to avoid behaviour that could lead to pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and emotional stress. The old time religion and cultural norms have served humanity well and must be maintained.


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