WHEN YOU DO NOT HAVE A CHILD

This is a very sensitive subject which any writer must approach with care, concern and empathy.

Some couples have babies within the first year of marriage. Others have theirs a few years after they tie the knot while a number try for several years and still don’t become pregnant.

Not just married women but also quite a number of married men are not satisfied with their relationship when they do not have children. In that situation, some of them also feel their marriage is incomplete. They feel even more terrible in the company of those who have children and are inconsiderate in the way they talk about their offspring. Some parents are so insensitive that they flaunt their children before friends and relatives who do not have any.

Those who have children can simply show gratitude to God. These parents must pray for and at least give emotional support to those who spend a lot of effort, time and money to try to have children.

A couple in this difficult situation must seek the necessary help by the end of the first year in marriage. This help must be obtained from a qualified obstetrician/ gynaecologist. This consultant normally first tries to find out why the couple cannot achieve a pregnancy or why the wife cannot carry the baby to full term. Then he finds out which method may help in producing a pregnancy which may also have a successful outcome. Being prayerful during the waiting time can be helpful.

Disease- genetic or otherwise including sexually transmitted diseases can make it difficult or impossible for one or both spouses to contribute towards achieving a normal pregnancy. Certain lifestyles also create problems for the couple when they want their own baby.

The obstetrician/ gynaecologist and his team may carry out assisted fertilization of the female egg by the husband’s sperm. Sometimes egg or sperm donation or donation of both egg and sperm may be necessary. In addition a surrogate mother may also be needed where the wife cannot carry the pregnancy to full term.

A couple may settle for adoption after trying all available means to have a baby. These methods cost a lot of money. A certain percentage of those who try are able to have children. Others also go straight for adoption without going through all the expensive means of having their own babies.

I know some couples in my country simply take into their homes children of their relatives and bring them up as their own.

What I have written here may be common knowledge for many couples. It is also possible some couples are ignorant of everything or part of the contents of my blog. That is my reason for daring to produce this write up when I don’t have any professional medical training!

My prayers are with all married couples who want to have children.

Eli answered her, “Go in peace. And may the God of Israel give you what you have asked of him”.
“Think well of me and pray for me- she said”- and went her way. Then she ate heartily, her face radiant- 1 Samuel 1:17-18 (MSG).

This blog does not replace or presume to offer professional advice which must be sought from a qualified obstetrician/ gynaecologist.

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