Amongst my siblings I was the last child to be born. I was brought up by my Christian parents to deeply love and respect them and my brother and sisters. I do not remember ever being rude to or hitting any of them. It was probably easy for me to behave that way because the sibling born before me is almost seven years older than myself.
So you can understand why I never fought anyone at school also. I was a pleasant person ( I think so) and made great friends from primary school through to the university. I still keep in touch with many of them.
Thank God I was not interested in going wayward and no one could make me go that way because my Christian upbringing held sway over my life. I was however very shy! Positions I was given in student leadership both in secondary school and university helped to some extent.
However this not so good situation began to change when I became a married woman. During my time, there was no church or any type of counselling before marriage. Some years after getting married, I felt it was neither proper nor pleasant to leave decision- making entirely to my husband and just tow his line. I realized he was and is still human and could therefore make mistakes.
Gradually, I learnt from experience, reading Christian books about marriage and excellent tips I received from couples I admired. I also started using sensible feminine persuasive skills and being extra sweet toward my husband! My husband had been a wonderful boyfriend and suitor but I discovered I had gotten an old time traditional husband!
As time passed, he started accepting suggestions and getting done quickly things I wanted and we both needed. A simple example was a landline phone I wanted so badly so we could both communicate with our extended families without always travelling to see them. Because of my newly found pleasant attitude and boldness, the telephone was installed within days of his putting pressure on the provider!
He started telling me I was a good wife and housekeeper. I pleasantly continued making contributions to decision making without being shy or unnecessarily soft. I started to politely make him know what I did not like about him whether he was able and willing to change immediately, later or never. I started praying for him more regularly.
But it was after I became a born again Christian that I realized I needed godly wisdom, strength and courage to get things done right most of the time. Also I noted my efforts before this Christian experience (of being reborn) were not enough. And this was about ten years after marriage and after I stopped having children!
I have now become a pillar for my family to an extent that surprises even me. I thank God for my progress though not everything has worked out the way I wanted it. Perhaps that’s God’s way to keep me humble!
I would advise other ladies and gentlemen to learn early to be strong and to get things done properly in a godly manner. This way they can contribute to getting what is good for themselves and their loved ones in all areas of their lives . They must not wait for marriage or until they are very old before learning to stand on their feet in the various situations they find themselves.
They may not be as blessed as I have been, or as lucky as some people would choose to describe my changed life.
For me what helped me most was the experience of being born again to become a child of God because I believed Jesus died to save me from my sins, my mistakes and my lack in various areas of my life such as wisdom and spiritual strength.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths – Proverbs 3:5-6 ESV.
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God- Romans 3:23 ESV.
A word to the wise is enough!