As a married woman have you ever thought of finding out from your husband why he married you, that is if you do not know already? Do you wonder why as the Christian marriage service made him promise , he took “you to be his lawful wedded wife…. forsaking all others”? Or you were too happy to accept his proposal because you simply wanted to become a married woman who could show off her rings to friends!
Let me venture to point out some possible reasons your husband was so keen to marry you. Of course men marry for reasons other than the few I have stated in this blog:
1. You caught his attention the first time he saw you; he could not pinpoint the particular cause of his interest in you. He simply wanted to see you again. He tried to rationalize his interest by telling himself he found you attractive, you had a beautiful smile…..
2. He did some ” research” about you and got to know your school,university, church,workplace or home. He even found out the two of you had a mutual friend! He got this friend to take him to meet and to introduce him to you. He visited you a number of times in the company of this friend to gain a foothold in your mind. He later asked you for a date. You agreed to go out with him because at that point you also found him interesting.
3. During the early dates, he found himself sharing areas of common interest with you. He found you were both Christians and belonged to the same denomination- you shared common faith in God through Jesus Christ. He invited you to his local church services, Bible studies and other church activities.
4. He discovered you dressed modestly and neatly. He realized you spent wisely on clothes and accessories. You did not want gifts until you got to know him better and when you did, you made him aware you were not yet ready to receive expensive gifts from him. Whenever you ate together at a restaurant or public place, you chose healthy meals which were also not expensive. You did not drink alcohol at all.
5. Early sex was out of the question! You wanted to wait for the man who would become your husband. You wanted to be sure he was not out to ” sample” you like my mother used to do with a ball of kenkey – a traditional Ghanaian meal prepared from maize. At the market, she would take a small portion from the displayed ball to taste. If she did not like the taste of the product from the first vendor, she will move on to the next kenkey seller to repeat the sampling.
6. There were ” angels on guard duty” whenever you visited his home or he called at your home. Parents, siblings, other relatives or friends were present to discourage ” temptation “! Otherwise the two of you agreed never to be alone in quiet or enclosed spaces.
7.You were polite to him. You were still respectful as you were friendly to him the more you became acquainted with him. You were also pleasant to his friends who were the same to you.
8. His mother took an instant liking to you and did not change her mind even at the point your boyfriend wanted her permission to marry you. His dad shook your hand so warmly you thought your hand would fall from your wrist! He remained enthusiastic about the relationship and later approved his son’s choice of a wife.
9. Your boyfriend realized your parents also liked him a lot when you introduced him to them. Your mother invited him to share meals with the family. Your dad loved chatting with him so much you sometimes felt excluded in your own home. As your boyfriend he found your home was always as clean as it was neat.
10. He discovered you were a wonderful cook; your meals tasted nearly as delicious as his mother’s! He was sometimes present when you prepared meals so he had no doubt about your culinary skills!
11. You exhibited a clean and wonderful sense of humour. You also laughed over situations other girls would flare up about. You did not easily become upset but rather spoke up about the matter as soon as you could express your opinion soberly. You forgave easily and never brought up offenses from the past. You did not let the sun go down on your bad feelings as the Bible taught. You forgave him the offenses he sometimes committed against you especially when he apologized for them.
12. The faults he found in you were not serious enough for him to end his relationship with you. You were human like himself but you were also a special person for him.
When he finally proposed marriage to you and you accepted it, he confessed later he felt as if a heavy stone had been lifted off his chest! The waiting had been worth the effort. He told you he slept so soundly that night he was late to work the following morning!
I would recommend gentlemen also find out the reasons for which their wives agreed to marry them .
It surely would be interesting for both men and women to know!!!